There are many things which enter the mind when one contemplates the act of submission in a D/s context.
Understanding it in it’s entirety is something I have yet to fully experience, but here are my thoughts so far.
Firstly, having recently come out of an abusive relationship, I know that submission is most definitely NOT about being forced by an angry man simply because he’s drunk and has had a shitty day at work. That makes him an asshole, not a Dom! Any action against a sub that comes from a place of anger is wrong. If a guy cannot control that side of himself then he has issues, and can take care of them well away from me.
Secondly, a submissive is not a simpering, passive wreck of a person who wishes someone else to take responsibility for her. Opting out of taking personal responsibility is not a valid option, and will not fair well in a D/s relationship. If you cannot be bothered to take care of yourself, then why should you expect someone else to?
For me, it’s about an absolute need that radiates from my core. And it’s about far more than sex……infact, as far as I’m concerned, that is simply an enjoyable by-product of the D/s dynamic.
If you’re simply into rough sex, then your submission is a kink that doesn’t leave the bedroom. Nothing wrong with that ofcourse, I’ve had my fair share of that, and damn it was good! 😀
But, that is not enough for me….leaving it in the bedroom and proceeding with vanilla life is just not fulfilling. I need more than that.
The part I struggle with is the fact that I’m a brat. I have a loud mouth, and I’m sarcastic, occasionally I’m a bitch. I want to be made to submit, I am not going to do it just because someone tells me I should. I want to feel those butterflies in my tummy when I know I’ve gone too far, and I’m in the shite! I want to feel the hand grip my throat, I want to be told that stamping my foot and behaving like a brat is not going to get me my own way. I want to feel the storm subside when I’ve calmed down and become still. I want the touch that tells me it’s ok. I want to know I can find solace in his arms, and be completely safe. I don’t feel safe having someone tiptoe around me because they don’t know how to deal with me. I need a constant, Dominant force to keep me on track.
Ofcourse when talking of D/s one has to talk about the sexual aspect, and punishments, domestic discipline etc. It takes an huge amount of bravery to trust that a Dominant knows how much you can take, knows how to *safely* push your boundaries, or knows when a punishment is needed. Putting yourself in the hands of a sadist is not for the faint of heart, especially when you’re not the one calling the shots! *giggles* I love the primal nature of being taken, used, having pain inflicted upon my willing flesh. Give me the bruises, rake your nails over tender welts, twist my hair and hold me in place. I need that too.
Submission is anathema to everything one will read about the modern woman, the feminist, the one who will never give in to any man, because to do so is weak.
I am not weak.
You’re making a grave mistake if you think I am.