I strongly suggest to anyone reading this who may have a problem with the terms in the title not to continue reading. This post here is about *my* take on the theme, about MY fantasies, but it could still be triggering for some, hence the warning
Right, anyway, rape play.
Taboo subject, yes?
Ofcourse it is.
Alot of people will see the aforementioned term and have a (negative) emotive response to it. And that’s fine, we generally fear what we don’t understand.
To start with, I think it’s incredibly important to separate the fantasy from the reality. Real rape isn’t about sex, not really. The sex is the manifestation of a person’s desire to exert their force over you.
Nobody wants to be raped. It’s brutal and soul destroying. I’ve been there myself, it isn’t something I’d wish on anyone.
A previously consented to fantasy, however, of being overpowered, of being taken and used against your will for someone else’s sexual gratification, however they may choose to use you, is, to me, hot as hell.
It gets me off. I won’t apologise for that.
During that scenario, I don’t want tender touches and gentle kisses, I want to see the monster that lurks in the shadows, stalking it’s prey.
Whilst I don’t have a specific fantasy related to rape play, there are themes that regularly make an appearance in my head.
A physical struggle is, in this context, what I crave. It fuels my desire for this kind of thing, it is what my fantasies are centred around. Throw me down, manhandle me, scratch me, slap me, hurt me, just do it like you mean it.
Name calling during the act is high up on my list of likes……just don’t use the ‘whore’ word, I absolutely detest it. If someone has a fistful of my hair, and is uttering degrading, profanity riddled insults in my face, I’m gonna get off on it, no question. I may even retaliate with an insult or two of my own. I mean, come on, what makes you think I’d ever want your cock in a normal situation anyway?
Fear. I want to experience it. The intoxicating thrill of it. I want my heart rate to skyrocket, I want to fear what may happen next. I want to be able to say ‘No’ and have the word ignored. I want to be laughed at whilst I plead for you to stop.
Make me. Whatever you’re going to do, just fucking make me. Leave me a snivelling, teary mess. Take whatever it is you want from me, cos that is where I get my pleasure, being used for someone else’s selfish pleasures.
Being made to kneel after the event, and thank my ‘attacker’ for what just occurred would be mindblowing…a teeny tiny shaky voice, small and insignificant, full of shame, completely compliant. A contrasting style of submission completely different from that which I usually experience.
Things like this, extreme consensual power exchanges, need to be discussed in detail before they’re acted upon though. For me, personally, a safeword or gesture must be in place beforehand. If something is going seriously wrong during the scene, play needs to stop immediately, or at the very least the situation needs to be evaluated.
I think it’s also vitally important to understand that there may be a psychological impact during or after such an exchange for either or both parties involved, and not be afraid of, or shy away from that. Before I embraced the fact that I have, and enjoy these type of fantasies, I spent a long time feeling like I was somehow wrong for even contemplating such things. The negative connotations surrounding the word rape do not need to be explained, and trying to reconcile getting off on either forcing, or being forced to engage in rough sexual acts can be one hell of a mindfuck.
A pre-negotiated scene such as this would allow me to explore my most primitive, primal urges whilst ultimately being completely safe, and it goes without saying that the only way I could do this is with someone I trusted implicitly. That part is non-negiotiable.
So there it is, my take on rape play. It is what it is, a fantasy, MY fantasy. Nothing more or less than that. Certainly nothing for anyone else to get their knickers in a knot over. I don’t need to justify it, but I certainly would like it to be played out once in a while.