……..there’s very little point in me telling you what to do and what not to do, because a) you won’t bloody listen, and b) you still won’t bloody listen *sigh*.
Plus there’s the whole Back to the Future, messing with time/fate thing to consider.
Oooh, related anecdote. You will, in a few years time, go out with a boy solely because he looks like Michael J Fox. He’ll dump you because you won’t ‘do it'(you know what that means, all the kids in the playground are talking about it…and yeah, totally gross!) with him. Do NOT spend an inordinate amount of time being upset over this. He ain’t all that, believe me.
You’re going to go through things in life that will test your courage, that you’ll find, in some cases, difficult to comprehend. You’ll make mistakes, oh my will you make mistakes! But the shame you carry around with you is completely disproportionate to the gravity of those mistakes….you’re not gonna kill anyone for heaven’s sake! Mistakes don’t make you a bad person, they just mean you’re human. Jeez, everybody fucks up now and again.
You’ll be conditioned to always feel as if your achievements do not match expectation, and that this makes you a failure. This is such bullshit!The degree of perfection held up as a model for everyone to aspire to is a fallacy. Striving for perfection is to set yourself up to fail. Perfection is also kinda boring 😉
By all means acknowledge your mistakes, they’ll shape you in ways you won’t understand until much later in life….but once acknowledged, and learnt from(that right there is the important bit), put them to one side and move on.
If you can approach everything you do with a certain amount of humility, you’ll be on the right path.
Not everyone will ‘get’ you, but that’s ok. We can’t all get on. It’s not something to spend countless hours in morbid introspection over. A wallflower you are, and a wallflower you’ll always be….some of us just need abit more support in order to grow is all. Embrace your quirks, they make you real, and interesting. I know you don’t feel particularly interesting right now, but you’ll grow into accepting that others may find you so, and they’ll seek out your company as a result.
Your mouth, and your temper, are going to get you into all kinds of trouble. We haven’t, as yet, been arrested for this….let’s keep it that way shall we! Your ‘fuck it’ attitude will get you into all kinds of trouble……some of it will be amusing(highly amusing as far as you’re concerned)….but just remember, not everyone can cope with someone having that much ‘personality’! You’re going to be abit much for some, but again, that’s ok.
There will be things about yourself that you don’t yet fully understand, things which, later on, you’ll find great comfort in. Try not to spend too much time worrying about these things, it’ll all fit into place when it’s meant to, and then you’ll breath a sigh of relief.
Above all, just remember that you ARE strong enough to cope with everything that you’ll encounter along the way. There will be moments of profound joy, moments of deep sorrow, times when you’ll be too scared to ask for help, but you’ll find the courage from somewhere to do it anyway.
You’re still standing, girl, how, I don’t know, but you are, and right now, from where I’m standing, life looks to be on the up.
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