When insecurities take hold, it’s very difficult to see them for what they are through the eyes of the rational mind. Rationality has no place when your demons are telling you you’re worthless, unattractive and will never have be able to keep hold of a man/maintain a relationship. The demons have a way of twisting positive thoughts and hopes into greatly exaggerated fears, and seek only to destroy everything you’ve tried so hard to work to change.
You look at yourself in the mirror and despise what you see. Tits not big enough, waist not defined enough, arse not toned enough, legs not long or shapely enough. And lets not even mention the fugly you’ve got going on.
Then you log onto places like Fet only to be greeted with images of impossibly perfect women, and your heart sinks as you know there’s no way you can ever compete with that.An inferiority complex takes up residence in your head, and all your inadequacies come to the fore. You end up hating yourself because you *know* that fundamentally, you cannot change what you see staring back at you;the mirror does not lie.
Tears fall, and you withdraw, because nobody loves, or wants to be around a sad girl, right?
A brief hiatus from places such as Fetlife may well help to cure the problem in the short term, but when one’s confidence is so fragile and easily eroded, longterm the problem will likely remain unresolved.
All anybody wants is to be loved for who they are, but when one feels so utterly devoid of positive attributes, how can one ever be worthy of anyone’s love?
Resentments escalate, and you withdraw further, backing yourself into a corner, hiding away in the dark until the demons have had their fill, until they leave you broken, a lonely, empty wreck, to try to glue all the pieces of one’s shattered confidence back together again.