Running scared, I fly headlong into the abyss, and find myself even more lost than I was before.
Fight, or flight, and I choose the latter.
My default setting and the dial is stuck.
I used to find comfort in the darkness, wearing it like a shroud. But now all I find there are monsters and ghosts, echoes of the past lurking in the gloom. There is no comfort to be found there anymore.
So I find myself standing at the crossroads, a little fearful of the choices I face.
But one truth presides.
Change cannot be affected unless one’s fears are faced.
The same pattern will always be repeated unless a new direction is taken, one tremulous step at a time.
So, I tell Him.
I wish we could talk about this face to face.
I’ve never wanted that before, I always prefer to hide, to avoid, to steer a path away from emotionally difficult conversations.
But, as I hold onto the lock which adorns the collar around my neck, I know that this is the right path to take.
And so, my choice is made.