Massive Attack ~ Karmacoma
When there’s trust there’ll be treats
And when we funk we’ll hear beats

 

Trust is a deep cavern into which we step, at first tentatively, getting a feel for our surroundings, taking note of the climate, how the air around us smells.
Is it warm, and comforting, this aroma? Does it draw you in?
Is the scent seductive, does it infiltrate the mind, does it make you fearless as you begin to crave more?
With each level we descend, we become more open, and have to allow for the occasional splinter of fear to fall upon us from the precipice above.

It’s an all encompassing thing, to give over your trust to another.

It’s taken me years to get to this point, to be able to say in Him I trust. Yet still I feel I don’t fully understand the gravity of what that means, or how that translates to us, and me. It still feels like a teasing penumbra hovering just out of reach.

I think of all the times when trust is active, when automatically it’s triggered, when it’s easy and about it we don’t need to think. We just do, and experience, and feel, without being encumbered by doubts. Those moments are so precious, and I file them away in a secret place where time cannot touch them, and they remain as delicate as the day the memory was made.

He trusts me, fleetingly, with moments of His own vulnerability, rendering himself fallible so that I may catch a glimpse of the man who hides underneath all the smug bluff and bullshit of ego projection. Those moments I place gently, like fireflies in jars at my feet, holding their secrets protectively to me, cherishing them, their story only for us to know.
To be honoured with that, His own, usually well hidden nakedness….
there simply are no words to describe just how much that means.

Trust underpins everything for us, every activity we do requires it’s presence. Without it we’d lose so much.

Irony.
I need to trust the concept of trust more, to be completely with Him when a decision is made, to not allow self doubt and a perceived lack of worth to make my decisions for me.