This is a diminutive glimpse into my thoughts on (my)masochism, and punishment dynamics
“You cannot physically punish a masochist”
It’s a blanket statement full of holes where threads have snagged and pulled on emotions drenched in shame.
Where tears fall as realisation dawns
I’ve disappointed him.
Pain tolerance has no bearing now, a moot point soaked with remorse.
The masochist, with understanding and respect, leaves, this isn’t her time.
The submissive sits, throat dry, eyes wet, knowing retribution will be narrated onto her skin. The number doesn’t matter, the number isn’t the point, yet counting out reparation as each blow falls heals the rift, penance is given a voice.
Physical pain is the conduit through which shame is filtered, as punishment becomes healing, stripes earned through misdeed tell the story of attrition.
Tears fall before first contact, continuing long after, drenching raw, heaving sobs, atonement offered humbly at His feet.
Redemption can be found in the welts adorning supplicant flesh, 10 strokes indescribably more painful than 100 for fun ever would be.