The topic around which today’s 500 words revolve is a pet peeve of mine, namely that female automatically equates to submissive to a male, that the D/s construct is based upon this premise. Tumblr tells me it’s so, therefore it simply must be true.
Fuck off with that shit is my rather crude, and also too succinct for this project, response.
When exploring the notepad in my mind upon which I scrawled virtual words, I duly note the mindmap thus created, the derivative thought branches, the interconnection between autonomous identity as a concept, versus how ingrained it is within society that my identity is
expressed in relation to a man.
I am my father’s daughter before I am my mother’s.
Miss or Mrs denotes that my identity is defined by whether or not I am married(to a man). Recent experiences with a deeply ingrained misogynistic attitude manifested as being deemed defective if, at my age, I was not yet married. “What’s wrong with you?” was the question put to me when I stated that I have never, indeed, been married.
Were I to get married, my father would, traditionally, give me away(denoting transfer of ownership) to my husband.
Fuck that noise. Possessing a vagina does not make me a possession.
Even my primary identifier, woman, contains the word ‘man’ as a constituent part.
I am not anti-men, but I am passionate about having autonomy, as a human being, and as a woman.
I have a massive problem with authority figures, of all genders. You(generic) having a specific title does not make you my superior, or mean you have power over me. If you desire that I show you respect, then earn it. Your arrogance, and supposition of authority, will not buy it from me.
Whilst in my first job, the company offered to pay for training courses, and knowing which course I wanted to do, I put in my request.
Naivety, however, placed me in a corner. The course I was supposed to want to take, due to my gender, due to possessing a vagina, was typing. I had no interest in that…
Pfft, fuck off!
…yet the male manager was utterly incredulous, and questioned me, twice, for clarity. “What do you mean you don’t want to do typing?”.
Oh, sorry sweetheart, do I need to speak a little slower, given comprehension clearly isn’t your forte?
It seems that Tumblr isn’t the only entity which assumes that, as a female, my primary purpose was/is to simply comply.
Neither does my sexuality equate to my being submissive.
Heterosexual means I am attracted to, and form romantic relations with, men.
Falsely conflating submission with sex is another of my pet peeves. For me, the two concepts are entirely separate.
Yes, I enjoy being sexually dominated, a circumstance under which the two overlap, but Dominance and submission can, and often do, exist outside of the sexual arena.
Being dominated doesn’t mean I’m going to suck your dick.
So no, I am not submissive because I happen to own a vagina.
My submissive nature is entirely separate from my gender, biological sex, and anatomy.
I submit to Sir because of the way he makes me feel when I’m around him. He doesn’t have to do anything in order for me to feel those things, he purely inspires it.
Submissive is simply who, and what, I am. It is the core of my being.
But automatically submissive
on the basis of gender, I am not.